I've been rather absent lately. From my blog. And from my friends. And from pretty much everything in my life. But, it's actually been a really good thing. Here's why:
That's right. I'm knocked up! Due August 10th, which makes me about 11 weeks now. I realize that I'm not completely "out of the woods" yet, and that many people would wait another couple weeks to out themselves, but I just couldn't keep it a secret any longer. So, I'm dragging you in the woods with me. Yesterday, we heard a really strong heartbeat at the doctor's office, which gave me the go ahead, in my mind, to come out with it. (the statistics of miscarriage after hearing a heartbeat after 11 weeks is rather low, a risk I'm willing to take) But here's the other thing. If, God forbid, I were to miscarry, I'd still tell you. I'd want the support of my family and friends to get me through that difficult time. So, to answer all of the questions that everyone has been asking:
So, how have I been feeling? Crappy. I've had all day sickness (not just morning). Not actually getting sick, but on the verge all the time. I was having a hard time eating anything at all, and was losing weight, so my doctor put me on Zofran. It's an anti-nausea medicine. It's been a God send. It's taken away almost all of my nausea. It has it's own set of, less than desirable, side effect though, that I won't get into. But the benefits definitely outweigh the side effects. My energy level has been zero. Getting anything done around the house has been a joke. I haven't had much of a desire to even get out of the house. I went almost an entire week last week without leaving! This pregnancy is the total opposite of my last pregnancy. With Jackson, I had NO morning sickness, lots of back pain in my first and second trimester, my boobs were HUGE and hurt, I peed all the time, and I was rather emotionally stable. This pregnancy I have morning sickness, my boobs are no bigger (the ONLY physical perk of pregnancy and I'm being deprived!) they don't hurt at all, and my back hardly hurts at all, I don't pee any more than usual (yet), and I'm an emotional WRECK! It's getting a little better, though, now that I'm closing in on the end of the first trimester.
Does Jackson know what's going on? Eh, kinda. He knows that there is a baby in Mommy's belly, and not in other people's belly's. He tells me the baby is sleeping all the time. But, I'm not sure he actually understands that there is a baby in me, that is going to come out in 7 months. And completely rock his little world.
Am I going to find out the sex? You bet your ass I am. I totally respect those ladies out there that have the will power to wait it out for the big surprise at the end. And who are fine with picking out all gender neutral stuff. But I am SO not one of those ladies. I'm a major planner. I want to know what's inside of me. I want to prepare the nursery and the cute little boy or girl clothes. I want to rub my belly and know what I'm rubbing, instead of calling the baby "it". And for those people that tell me they want to be surprised? Well, it WILL be a surprise. It will just be a surprise while I'm still pregnant instead of the day the baby is born. With Jackson, we found out he was a boy at 12 weeks, during our first trimester screening. Our first trimester screening is at 13 weeks this time, in 2 weeks. I'm hopeful that we will found out, for sure, again. But I know they may not be able to tell. So, I'm preparing myself that I won't know until the 18-20 week mark.
Do I care what I'm having? I'd be lying if I said I didn't care. I care a little. I would like to have a girl this time. I'd like to have that experience of having both a boy and a girl. Will I be devastated if it's a boy? Absolutely not. There is a lot to be said for having 2 boys. I won't have to buy new clothes. Jackson will have a brother to do brotherly things with. I already know what to expect with a boy. And, to be honest, having a teenage girl scares the daylight out of me! Of course the most important thing is to have a healthy baby. This is probably our last baby though, regardless of what we are having. (Famous last words, right?)
And then there is the unspoken question that absolutely EVERYONE I tell I'm pregnant does. They look at my stomach to see if I'm showing yet. Well, yes. Unfortunately, I already have a bit of a bump. Maybe it's baby, maybe it's just being seriously bloated. I don't know. I just know that I have a belly now, and I didn't have a belly before. Thank God for the belly band, cause I haven't been able to button my pants for about 3 weeks now!
You can be sure that I'll be blogging much more now. Now that I can write about what consumes 90% of my brain at all times.