Wednesday, September 29, 2010

For all're welcome.....

As a rental property owner/manager, I've seen lots of interesting people come through perspective rental homes. We own everything from a 60K condo to a 450K single family home, and I've gotta say, stupidity crosses all socioeconomic boundaries. Stupid people never cease to amaze me. So, speaking from personal experience, I have written a "how to" (so to speak) for renters.

Dear Perspective Renter of ANY RENTAL PROPERTY EVER,

The following is a list of dos and donts when viewing a property/interviewing with a landlord:

* DON'T comment on how clean the house is compared to the one you are currently living in. Owner: "Sorry about the mess in the office, we are going through some paperwork before moving." Perspective renter: "Oh, this is nothing! You should see my place.".....yeah.....don't do that.

*DO keep control of your kids for the very short period of time you are viewing the property.

*DON'T show up late

*If you are going to show up late, DO call first

*If there is a "no pet" policy, DON'T ask if the landlord can make an exception for your great dane.

*DO shop in your price range. You are just wasting everybody's time by looking at a house you can't afford.

*DON'T waste people's time. It pisses them off.

*DO follow up after a showing. If the owner/manager took time to show you the property, the least you can do is let them know when you've found something else.

*DON'T be ambivalent. Seriously. It's a rental. For one year of your life. JUST MAKE A DECISION OH MY GOD!

*DO be honest and upfront.

*DON'T over share. Your perspective landlord really doesn't want to hear about your prostate cancer and how everything is in "working order" now.

*DO be polite.

*DON'T be the creepy guy that hits on random property managers.

*If you are viewing the property for the second time, DO make sure the house is in your price range. I know I already said this one, but are just wasting everyone's time twice by seeing a house out of your price range...twice.

* DON'T show up to a showing in Denver wearing a Charger's jersey. That is grounds for immediate ejection from the house.

*If you DON'T speak English, DO stop talking in Spanish after I've told you I don't speak Spanish. I can't tell you how many times people have asked me if I speak Spanish, I say no, and then they continue on talking in Spanish. Isn't the word "no" the same in both languages?

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